Poor Tiger

I just had to!


Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning? They went clubbing

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.

Ping just offered Elin an endorsement contract for her own set of drivers; to be named Elin Woods..."clubs you can beat Tiger with."

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family--his new name?: Cheetah

Tiger was driving an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?

Hello Mister Woods this is the On Star operator we have detected that an angry person has put a golf club through your window, we are contacting Nike for a new club.

Who among us doesn't hear a car crash and immediately grab the closest golf club we can find??!!

Tiger's new movie: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

Tiger Woods owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

Poor choice; he should have gone with the driver.

What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger? Santa stops at three Ho’s.

Little Smokies

Ever wonder if they make big smokies to compliment their buddies the little smokies? Would a big smokey be a hot dog or a bratwurst? I can accept a hot dog being the ever elusive big Smokey but then that poses the question.......why aren't little smokies called little hot dogs? They are good either way you slice it but I can't say that regular dogs are that tasty, probably just taste like chicken.

Stay tuned for the the reasoning behind the phrase "it's colder than a witches tit" which I can tell you if I had a witches tit it would be frozen today!

Hole in One

Friday November 27, 2009 marks the day I achieved a feat I thought I would never do. There are many arguments of what the odds are to achieve such a feat. I have been golfing for about 28 years and have seen it once before seeing my own. According to holeinoneinsurance.com, the odds are 12,500 to 1.

I was invited to this tournament by my sales rep with Schneider, Jeff Clark. In our 4 person scramble team was his friend Tom Mitchell and my friend Gary Boersma. We were playing the 155 yard 6Th hole at Oakbrook Country Club. I'm happy to say it was a clean shot contrary to others believing that I hit a cart path, went under a windmill and through a clowns mouth.

The rest of the day was spent on cloud 9, weather great and good friendship. The only dull moment hit me on my way home. I wanted to grab my cell phone and call my dad to share the news. I was reminded by someone else he saw it happen from a much higher perch.

The picture was taken just after I picked my ball out of the cup. You can see the smile from ear to ear and man those ears are getting big! (maybe not, the picture is so small but mark my words it was dumbo to dumbo)

Water Left Standing

A guy at work had a terrible experience this last week. Long story short the city had caused an issue with the water system in his neighborhood which cause major back flow issues in his upstairs bathroom. He said when they finally got the water shutoff, there was 3 inches of water standing in the bathroom and hallway! I'm sure it wasn't the cleanest water, yuk!

So of course my focus in this story was the question........."does water really stand?" or "does water lay down?" Maybe water actually sits down? I can't even ask the water what they are doing, so frustrating. Of course when I go to ask.com they just giving me hints on how to make my dog sit or lay, I don't even own a dog.

Am I the only one that would like this answered?

5 Chapters!

Oh man, what a week, my assignments this week are to read 5 chapters, post my two answers on the discussion board, and write a financial analysis paper no less than 1200 words. My eyes are bugged out from reading the text although interesting reading you can only read so much on finances. I tell you what when I'm done with this class I could go work work for Southwest Airlines in any position I want, OK maybe not a pilot, but dang close. I chose Southwest as my publicly traded company of choice and they will remain my choice until the class is finished.

So far so good, max score on 2 papers and a quiz, we'll see what this next week brings. Off to read!

3 days down.........

Not too bad yet plus I was able to fit my Tuesday golf. Now granted it's the first week and I am only taking one class but I have to have golf! Wonder if they have golf classes in college, now that would be cool but expensive lessons.

Online course seems pretty cool, basically 3 parts of the learning process. Reading the text, posting and responding in the discussion groups (hopefully I will be able to keep some of my opinions to myself or I could find angry classmates), and written papers each week due by midnight the following Wednesday. Looks like this weekend will be spent a bit on the paper.

Sunday Night and Ready to Go

My daughter, her boyfriend, brother in law, nephew and in laws just left after a nice dinner out on the back patio.

My daughter asked if I was excited for my first day of school, she finds this funny since she is in college as well. My wife told her that she bought me a new lunch pail, of course Chelsea was elated and responded "REALLY!" cool! Lol, no silly I'm doing it online probably over my plate of dinner some nights.

First day will be fun, I work 0430am-500pm tomorrow then off to home to log onto my first class. I have started reading my text book so hopefully that will start me off ahead of the game. My luck the instructor will want the first 5 chapters read by Tuesday but we'll see.

Ok, off to bed, beauty rest needed for this guy, a lot of it.

Most Expensive Books in the World

Holy Moly, can't believe how much books are for school, I forgot about that part. Of course I am quite frugal at times so to get over the sticker shock I had to work it.

I first found the book I needed for my class was $109.00! I then looked at used, $81.00! I then pulled the ISBN # and looked on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Half.com and various of sites you can purchase books. Guess what, the book I need is "custom" to Bellevue College so I was stuck?

Nope, I decided to surf the student discussion boards and there it was the book I needed for $40 cash! My only concern was the post was a few months old but luckily for me the book was still available. I met the owner at BC and forked over the cash and I am a happier person.

My total invested time was approximately 2 hours so saving at least $60 that gives me a 2nd job at $30 an hour, not bad.

Off to golf, sunny Friday, the moons are aligned :)

Almost 40 and back to School....am I crazy?

Most of my friends and family don't know but I start Summer semester at Bellevue College on Monday June 29. I am excited and prep myself daily for the start back up on my AA in Business. I have had about a 20 year hiatus, I think there are no excuses left! Long term my classes are transferable to UW and/or EWU. I will pursue my bachelors in either Business or Industrial Engineering, I have time to decide which way I go. This is a personal drive plus I always look at ways to get the upper hand on my generation if heaven forbid I need or want to change careers.

I will be starting out slow with one class Summer and Fall semester. If all goes well I will jump up to 2 classes for Winter 2010.

Wish me luck!

Good Cell Tips!

5 Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do

For all the folks with cell phones. (This should be printed and kept in your car, purse, and wallet. Good information to have with you.) There are a few things that can be done in times of grave
emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:

FIRST
Emergency
The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find Yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an Emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to Establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly, this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

SECOND
Ha ve you locked your keys in the car?
Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys=2 0In the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot >From your car door and have20the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).
Editor's Note : It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!'

THIRD
Hidden Battery Power
Imagine your cell20battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#. Your cell phone will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone next time.

FOURTH
How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following Digits on your phone: *#06#. A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe.
If your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.
And Finally.....

FIFTH
Free Directory Service for Cells
Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 information calls when they don't have to. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial: (800)FREE411, or (800) 373-3411 without incurring any charge at all. Program this into your cell phone now.

Dump Truck in NO Rush Hour

Why do dump trucks decide to move rock in the middle of rush in town? 70' of duel dump trailers in bumper to bumper traffic screwing up every turn lane in town. You have to follow so close that you can't see the traffic light, if you don't you will lose spot after spot. To top it off you run a red light through a camera intersection.

First off for the driver it has to be a pain in the butt for the driver to shift up shift down shift up shift down shift up...you get the picture.

Second, talk about screwing up traffic and how to piss drivers off trying to get home. Driver probably doesn't care (other than the spastic shifting), he could be paid by the hour.

Glad I only live 7 miles from work!

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

My wife and I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button this last weekend. I was able to survive due to watching half on Saturday night and the remainder on Sunday. She doesn't know until she reads this that I did sleep partly through the 1st half :)

I struggle with "stories", I much prefer a movie based upon actual facts. Maybe curl up next to the fire with a good documentary on whale watching would be divine. The way you can tell if I am interested is whether or not my eyelids are open at the end of the movie. I once passed out to Beauty and the Beast in the theater before there was a beauty or a beast.

Onto the button movie....... Not a bad movie but I do have an issue that maybe someone could shed some light on?

When Benjamin was born, he was an old aged baby but as he got younger he became smaller in frame again. Why? If that was the case then wouldn't he have been born a 5' 8" foot old man, not a 20" old man? Did they not think about that? Was it on purpose and means something?

To me it is a "curious" issue!

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day and if you were ever curious how Mother's Day was started, here is the history behind it. I hope you have or had a nice day!


In the United States, Mother's Day experienced a series of false starts before eventually transitioning into the "Hallmark" holiday that we celebrate today. In 1858, Anna Reeves Jarvis was the first woman to hold an official celebration of mothers, when in her home state of West Virginia, she instituted Mothers' Work Day to raise awareness about local sanitation issues. During the Civil War, she expanded the scope of Mothers' Work Day to include sanitary conditions on both sides of the battlefield.

Meanwhile Julia Ward Howe, author of the "Battle Hymn of the Republic," attempted to institute a national celebration of mothers that honored women's inclinations toward peace (rather than cleanliness). In 1872, she initiated and promoted a Mother's Day for Peace, to be held on June 2, which was celebrated the following year by women in 18 cities across America. The holiday continued to be honored by Bostonian women for another decade, but eventually phased out after Howe stopped underwriting the cost of the celebrations.

Then in 1905, Anna Reeves Jarvis passed away and her daughter, Anna Jarvis, took up her mother's torch. Anna swore on her mother's gravesite that she would realize her lifelong dream of creating a national day to honor mothers. In 1907, Anna launched her campaign by handing out white carnations to congregants at her mother's church in Grafton, West Virginia. In 1908, her mother's church acquiesced to Anna's request to hold a special Sunday service in honor of mothers - a tradition that spread the very next year to churches in 46 states. In 1909, Anna left her job and dedicated herself to a full-time letter-writing campaign, imploring politicians, clergymen and civic leaders to institute a national day for mothers.

In 1912, Jarvis' efforts met with success: Her home state of West Virginia adopted an official Mother's Day; two years later, the U.S. Congress passed a Joint Resolution, signed by President Wilson, establishing a national Mother's Day emphasizing the role of women in their families - and not, like Julia Ward Howe's campaign, in the public arena. Ever since, Mother's Day has been celebrated by Americans on the second Sunday in May.

Perhaps the country's greatest proponent of motherhood, Anna Jarvis ironically never had children of her own. Yet that didn't stop her from making the celebration of Mother's Day her lifelong mission. In fact, as the holiday took on a life of its own, Jarvis expressed frequent dismay over its growing commercialization. "I wanted it to be a day of sentiment, not profit," she is quoted as saying.

My Dad's Birthday May 7th.......

Not sure if I can say that I believe there are signs that are given to you from loved ones that have passed away but I will share with you what happened to me that was a comfort at a needed time.

My Father would have turned 59 on May 7th, 2009. He passed away from Cancer last November so this being his first birthday since his passing, it weighed heavily on me.

I rarely remember my dreams but on my Father's birthday I was dreaming about hanging around with my Dad running a few errands, nothing significant but just being buds. I was awoken from that dream at 0115am to the sound of heavy rain. I ventured to the bathroom, dazed, as I rarely wake up at this time. With each step I took the rain advance stronger and stronger until hail began to pound the skylight. I had the warmest feeling that my Dad was letting me know he was watching over and this was his way of showing me.

I went back to bed, fell asleep after a few thoughts and didn't remember any other dreams that night.

Chip Off the Blockhead

My son says things that probably only he and I would think of or notice. I did not pick up what he just pointed out to me. Our tv station call letters are as follows:

2 NWCN

4 KOMO

5 KING

6 KONG

7 KIRO

He says you ever notice how channel 5 and 6 are in order and spell out KingKong? Wonder if that was planned? Or did by some weird chance it just worked out that way? Pretty cool and clever!

Flock of Words?

Ever watch birds fly? I'm guessing you have said yes unless you are a gopher. I am always amazed by the V pattern a flock makes, it's incredible how they form and cut the air with the formation. What baffles me is the loner bird flying by himself, why is he not with the flock? Does he have a flock? Is it a special group? Are flocks represented by the Union and loners are not?

My theory is that it's not a formation "v", it's a letter V, duh! Other flocks form a "n" but they are flying backwards. Some flocks form a "w" or "m" but they are just flying apart from each. Makes sense to me because now the loners fit in. They are the periods to the sentence that is being put together in this big sky. Ten birds in a row..........Two birds make a colon and so on.

Now that makes sense to me, if it makes sense to you then something is definitely wrong with you :)

Guest post...

Since Michel has failed to post to his blog for the past month, I have hi-jacked it to make it worth your efforts for stopping by for a visit.

I am Michel's wife.

I have my own blog that I post to regularly, if you would like to visit it you can go here.

I'm not witty nor as funny as my husband.

I find him downright hilarious most days.

Life with Michel is definitely interesting.

He comes up with thought provoking questions everyday.

Debating with him is maddening, as he will play devil's advocate on any topic even if he agrees with what you are saying. He will beat that horse until you walk away frustrated beyond belief.

He certainly keeps me on my toes and is the most kind hearted person I know.

Today he endured shoe shopping with me and a 'quick' trip upstairs to the ladies department for a few try ons. He sat so patiently on the sofa by the waiting room.

I rewarded him with lunch out. =)

He is wanting a iphone, something we 'gave' him as a Father's day gift last year.

We never did get one when they came out with the new 3G.

Today we stopped into the AT&T store to see if we could get him one, he's not eligible for the discounted price until 7/7/09. Bummer!

When we returned home I tried to work my magic over the phone with Norman, but he wasn't playing nice. So, since we refuse to pay $200 more for the damn phone, we will wait until 7.7.09 and get it for the discounted price.

He will be happy. He will hopefully post more to his blog as well given that he'll be able to do it from his phone as well as any of the various computers scattered throughout the house!

The photo, one of many self portraits that he has taken of himself over the years.

I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see this one posted here!

Today's the Day

I have started to take care of myself better. I am on a 5 week plan to get myself the level to run a 5k without dying at the finish line! My first day is just a 20 minute walk, which was done briskly and topped off with another 20 of leisure walk while carrying my 220 calorie drink!

I used to run quite a bit but have failed to get back out there. I am not in a position I need to lose weight but I know I need to get the heart pumping a bit more and watch what I eat.

To monitor what I am eating, I am using a free online program called sparkpeople. First day out of the shoot I was over on caloric intake and my fats.

Sad But Nice Story

Check this story out. So sad and so young. Just shows it can happen to anyone. I love her committment to her boys and their future.

http://www.komonews.com/news/national/39910807.html

Is it OK to Swallow Gum?

Ever wonder? I decided to look it up after telling my son it was not ok. Well, fat chance I tell him that he was right, lol! Here is a response that I found to that question:

Dear Concerned,
While there are many urban legends about the detrimental effects of swallowing gum, your friend's situation is probably not as sticky. Ingested chewing gum will not wrap itself around your vital organs or remain in your stomach for years on end. Although gum is certainly not meant to be swallowed, the body usually eliminates it in the same amount of time it takes to expel other waste.
Occasionally, if several pieces of gum are swallowed within a short period of time, hard masses of indigestible material known as bezoars, may form in the chewer's intestine or stomach. Some people are more predisposed to developing bezoars than others. If your friend is experiencing stomachaches, he may want to meet with a health care provider who can determine if there is indeed a mass lodged in his insides, and if necessary, how it can be removed.
You may also want to ask your friend why he keeps swallowing gum. Perhaps he does it when he’s actually hungry and wants something in his stomach, or maybe he does it when he can’t find a place to throw his gum away. Maybe when you're with him, you can offer him some scrap paper for him to spit his gum into or tell him to carry around snacks that can temporarily curb his hunger.
Here's to healthy and "Carefree" gum chewing!